Thursday, November 12, 2009

Gratitude List - Day 1

Boy do I need this...Before I begin my list I'll share that I have been having a hell of a time with my TN pain. My whole life has been affected and I have had to make huge adjustments in my expectations. I try really hard to stay positive on my blog and on facebook but I don't feel very authentic. If I said what was really going on, all I'd do is complain so I have been doing a lot of isolating to avoid wearing people out. I reserve all my fun, good humor and positive energy to lavish on the kids and Tim so that their lives are not impacted more than necessary. The result is that when I can't do it any longer, I disappear into my room and try to manage the intense pain with relaxation techniques, surfing the web, TV, and anything else I can do to distract me or ease the discomfort. Yes that includes eating large quantities of my kid's Halloween candy. What can I helps for a few minutes.

I have had my share of dark moments but God is good and has graced me with more blessings than pain so no matter what escape plan I imagine in those stretches of 9 and 10 suffering, I have a smile for the joys in my life. Here are just a few in no particular order...
  1. my children's genuine happiness with their lives
  2. St. Timothy's school
  3. my friends, family and community - you know who you are
  4. my husband's wonderful sense of humor
  5. my mom
  6. Bill and Bob and everything that follows
  7. I get to go to art school
  8. our home
  9. willingness each and every morning
  10. health insurance
  11. Peggy Z
  12. to be an American
  13. for my sight, hearing and ability to walk
  14. our amazing planet and those that fight to save her
  15. my in laws who are so far away but so near in our hearts
  16. forgiveness
  17. our military, police and firefighters who protect us from harms way
  18. my computer...I'd be out of work and cut off from much of the world without it
  19. clean water - we don't realize how lucky we are
  20. that I live in Northern California - for the weather, the open mindedness, tolerance, diversity and opportunity
so that is my first list of 20...6 more days to follow. I already feel lighter. So happy to be doing this! Off to see what Aimee, Cameron, Lori and any others have written to feed off of their positive thinking too!


  1. will keep you in prayer for healing totally pain free.

  2. Good for you, Jilliene! I'm so sorry that you're still in pain and I hope they figure out a solution for you soon. In the meantime I'm happy for you to be so grateful!

  3. hugs to you....wish I could make it all better. Sending you happy thoughts and know that I am GRATEFUL FOR YOU! xo

  4. I know you hear this all the time, but it is undeniably true:
    You are an inspiration!!
    I am grateful for your authenticity, spirit, humor and passion. Love you!!!