I'm finally up and around after being wretchedly sick for a week. I completely lost my voice and I cannot tell you how frustrated I was. How in the world do you get a 5 1/2 and 3 year old ready for school when you can't talk? Especially when your throat is sore and your body is aching. I was not in the best of spirits but, like all toil, good came from it.
Coming out of my silence and discomfort gifted me an appreciation for this very moment. I am powerless over the economy, the laundry pile that never stops growing, my newly sprouted gray hairs and the leaves that keep falling from the trees in our yard. I can do this or that to deal with these things but I do not have the power within my body to make these things be anything different than they are so why do I spend so much time feeling worried, ashamed or guilty about them? In other words, it is time to lighten up.
Planning is way over rated and is contrary to the kind of person I want to be. You can invest for your future and still end up broke. You can eat right and exercise but you are still going to get old. You can wash clothes every day and you'll still never be done. Living in the moment means that you make a CHOICE to do things that make you happy or unhappy. If they make you unhappy but need to be taken care of (we all have to file our taxes) then make the choice to change your mindset... be in charge of your perspective and get it done.
Most of all be grateful. We are all blessed - each and everyone of us. It is not our job to count OTHERS blessings, just our own. Its not a race, a contest nor are we being graded. This is life. We eat, we drink, we sleep, we breath, we go potty and everything else is human-made. It is all just a backdrop, props, dialog, feelings, perspectives, experiences, memories. I find that when I whittle my life down to the bare bones, I become one of many, a human among humans and I get my power back. My power to be happy. My power to pursue things that I love. My power to make decisions- not because I have to but because I GET to (unlike so many in other parts of the world). I see things more clearly and appreciate the beauty of my lawn covered with reds, oranges and browns. What my neighbors think about my front yard does not even enter my mind. I see my kids as playful, innocent, curious little people and I am able to explore with them instead of ordering them to stay put and worrying how their behavior reflects on me. It is when I am in this place that I feel a warmth in my heart which I believe to be a connection with God - the Universe, Buddha, whatever spirit, power or energy source you know. It is the most amazing feeling to be united with this source of love and today, I am making the conscious choice to be connected.
That being said, here is what I've been up to...
I am nearly finished with my torso. I need to make a couple of adjustments to the value transitions but I have to say that I had a fabulous time doing this and have decided to persue Fine Art rather than Graphic Design. It just happened one day - I knew that I was meant to go down that path and I feel so light and centered about it!
I finished a heap of UGRA projects so I could hand them off at the last UGRA play date which was a BLAST. Many, many thanks to Sharla for her gracious hospitality and for the incredible projects.
We made a Halloween accordian album from CD sleeves and a handmade book of 6 signatures in just a few hours. There were 6 totally fabulous atist in attendance and I soaked up all of the creative energy like a dyhydrated sponge. By the time I left I was dripping with inspiration.
I've also been busy with one of my clients albums which is turning out to be so wonderful. I'm really pleased and can't wait to show her the most recent pages. While the administrative part of our life feels daunting, we, our family is just doing great. It takes up every moment of every day but we choose to live our life that way and we are really happy.