What I know now that I did not know then

Yesterday was my 40th birthday. It was such a fabulous day. I had many calls from friends and family singing me silly songs and telling me what a special person I am. I had 6 Etsy orders including one from my amazing friend Jen - thank you honey! I went to lunch with my Aunt Mary whom I only see once a year but have a special kinship with, my mother and my husband. We dressed up like civilized people and had the full meal at a upscale, swanky bistro. I savored a scrumptious mussel appetizer, a lobster and avocado BLT with a lovely salad, and french pressed decaf with fresh berries for dessert. It was such a wonderful meal that I'm still going over the details in my mind. Then Tim and I went to a late afternoon matinee to see Watch Men which was a bit violent for my taste, a little depressing too, but a REALLY cool comic movie if you are into that sort of thing which I am. (I watch Heroes and Star Trek too).

When we got home, my kids had been fed and were waiting with anticipation to give me the beautiful gifts they made for me. My mom also gave me a gorgeous purse that I had drooled over a few months back. Not because I do the whole fashion thing, but because I want to learn how to make these!!

I am hoping my pal Sooz will able to look at it more closely while we are at Inspired and tell me how to approach making my own version of this. She is such an AMAZING seamstress!

And to finish off a perfect day, I watched Damages and Lost - 2 of my favorite shows. I fell asleep peacefully. Just before I drifted off I thought about what I know now compared to when I was 20. Either it is a cruel joke or a built in checks and balances system, but isn't it ironic how when we look our best, have the most energy and "potential", we tend to have so many more insecurities, far less contentment and often very skewed goals? I spent most of my 20's feeling fat (even though I was 15 lbs. lighter than I am now), feeling unlovable (even though I was totally loved) and chasing aspirations that are so far from what I want for myself today. I thought I knew it all and that I was invincible.

So I decided to construct a list of "20 things I wish I had known when I was 20". I am also having a drawing for a vintage goodie pack including several pieces of beautiful jewelry and some amazing ephemera.

1. Wear sunscreen all the time
2. Boys are not a hobby - find a passion that is not tied to another person and let it fill you up
3. The best way to find happiness is to give to others
   
4. Develop the habit of exercising everyday so when your older it will already be ingrained in you
5. People are not thinking about you all the time. They do not care if your purse matches your shoes. They are too busy focusing on themselves.
6. It does not matter how many friends you have, what matters is how you treat people
7. Tell the truth.
   
8. You do not have to be the center of attention to be noticed and you are not invisible.
9. Be kind to your parents and grateful for the things they do for you. They are people just like you.
   
10. Compassion does not mean taking on others problems
11. Drama is not as attractive as you might think
12. Make a gratitude list every day
13. Dreading something does not make it easier to experience, it just prolongs the discomfort
14. Just because you do not feel like doing something, does not mean you do not have to. This is when you probably need to do it the most. Just put one front in front of the other - who knows, it may be fun.
15. Do not choose a major because you think it will allow you to make the most money. Do what you love and success will follow. Do what you hate and success does not matter.
16. "Be the change you want to see in the world" -Ghandi
17. Release negativity of any kind - it is poison. pursue forgiveness and kindness and you will be filled up with the power of love
18. Be yourself without apologizing nor adapting to your surroundings. If you can find a way to be authentic and let go of what others think of you people will see your strength and be drawn to it.
    
19. Trust that everything will be alright - it may not look the way you thought it would, but it will still be OK.
    
20. Hug yourself and thank your body EVERYDAY for all the things it does for you - protecting you from disease, healing wounds, cradling your soul so you can experience life.

OK friends - let's hear your thoughts. Tell me something you would tell your 20 year old self. A prize awaits you! I will announce the winner tomorrow AM.